more details to come as my fingers warm up …

if you’ve run with on two or more occasions i’ve probably mentioned that i have this fear – and the fear is not just the existence – it’s the idea that i could fall into roadkill – that it might be possible to splat into the splat.

it’s hard to argue with how gross that would be – nasty nasty nasty – however, it is very easy to tell me that this is a pretty ridiculous fear and the odds of this happening are slim to size double zero.

i often say when told that i am a nutjob that this improbable occurrence seems far more likely to happen when i was living in the country and running up and down the hills of southwestern virginia. there is more roadkill in the south, right? yes’m, we needs it to cook ours dinners.

it has come to my attention, as i’ve been greasing the streets, using my bike to commute to and from campus, that this assumption is oh-so false. the city streets are grossly, always, full of something that makes me swerve into oncoming traffic.

apparently, the thought of falling into roadkill is worse that becoming it myself.

then, because just updating the tag lines wasn’t *quite* geeky enough, i made a few wordles out of all of the text. interesting how the largest word and my actions right now are oh, so similar …

me:i turned in my neighbors last night for their “lewd” noise. i am now not only awkward, but a snitch…

emily: i think you are def the new crazytown

me: emily, saying i am the new crazytown is like saying black is the new black — i am the original crazytown.

i had a lot of first this week, especially in terms of athletic events and in terms of sassing my professors — the latter not working out so well, but the former being pretty interesting, especially my first-ever professional sporting spectacle in minneapolis — which i went to on friday. alone.

(hard to admit but, that’s how the stars aligned themselves. one stair in the stands).

now, i’ve been to the movies alone, but at the movies, the lights dim and no one really notices you are by yourself. at the metrodome, the lights never dimmed, and it’s pretty obvious when no one ever joins you that you are huge weirdo that goes to sporting events by themselves.

regardless of the complete and utter awkwardness of the whole experience (and it WAS extremely awkward), i’m kind of proud of myself. i wanted to go to the game and so i went. i guess judge me if you think that’s lame, but what’s lamer — sitting home alone with a beer? or surrounding yourself with 44,000 like-minded people and enjoying a beer and jalapeño-drenched bratwurst? i think the bratwurst gives the twins game the edge, but that could just be me. we all know i like my jalapeños.

i think the twins games, and the other events i went to this week, are just a testament to how comfortable i am getting out
and how OK i am with NOT being comfortable sometimes. there are going to be awkward moments and with me, there are probably going to be more than others, and sometimes, i will have to do things solo.

however, i have meet some stars here. yet, they don’t shine as bright as the stars i left behind on the east coast. i think that’s ok — they may burn brighter tomorrow, next week, next month or not — but they do sparkle and they do enlighten and i have at least three years to watch, wait and enjoy the glow grow.

my mom has told me many times that it’s OK to occasionally not have your mind blown — by people, by places, by moments –it’s doesn’t have to be the best. you hope it’s not the worst, but ultimately, all it really has to … is be.

it wasn’t until kristen accused me of my blog being a myspace page that i truly got fired up and realized that i am going to have to actually think of a way to adequately recap my birthday weekend.

the easy way out would be to throw up (not literally) some pictures from all of our porch parties. and there are some doozies, but i am not sure THAT would even do the weekend justice as i am not sure i know what was going on in some of those images.

what i do know.

i woke up on friday morning to a coffee, bagel and crossword puzzle. i got taken to lunch by my coworkers and ate two desserts. we dined al fresco and that would be the first of two meals basking in the spring sun. five o’clock rolled around and so did happy and hors d’œuvre hour(s). my girls gave me an eight-bottle wine fridge and an automatic wine bottle opening. kristen gave me a shirt that says BOOYAH (which was NOT a give away, marking the first time this weekend i would say or do something that i did not mean and came out rudely). we ate and drank and laughed until it was dark and late and then we went to bed so we could do it all again.

i woke up saturday morning to a package from maine. i took rachel and jess to coffee and then headed to baseball. i enjoyed (kind of) one exciting and one lame baseball game and then wrapped my business up with gusto so i could rejoin my people, who were already a few fresca-ritas in the bag. catching up was not a problem the way jess makes drinks and a few hours later it was time for the first-ever porch power hour — complete with backbends, dancing on tables and falling off decks.

what ensued after the pph is anybody’s guess. elizabeth played dress up. i passed out at my own party (huge foul, i know and will never, ever live it down). pizza was ordered. and a permanent marker made a very lasting impression. it is suffice to say permanent markers and power hours don’t mix. i have the scars/stains to prove it.

i woke up on sunday morning to elizabeth apologizing for the phrases (portland! boobs! kiss me!) emblazened on my calves and hamstrings and the nasty texts in my phone. we woke tiffany and kristen up and tried to recap the night’s hijinx before we all realized it was much to early for talking and went back to bed. the rest of the day was a simple rotation of napping, eating and watching tv. the day culminated with bananagrams and brothers & sisters (and you say we don’t know how to do it big!).

that is what i know.

i also know i have these amazing, do-it-to-it, unabashed, unbelievable, brilliant people in my life. they are the jewel in the crown, the pick of the litter, the maybach, the veuve and the cartier of friends.

and i know that saying this and that — trying to explain and delineate how much they matter and how much this weekend mattered to me will never be enough.

some families i know are having a pollyanna with their 127 cousins.

other families i know are drinking rum punches in antigua.

my family is eating pizza, playing cards, doing exercise videos, and when carson decides to deign us with his presence, he is actually trying to give me a *holiday* dutch oven.

i am not sure why i am so surprised that we are untraditional, when we have always been traditionally untraditional.

for example, tomorrow we will be having latkes, something i have made for brunch on christmas morning for many years. of course, there is nothing christmassy about having a jewish pancake to celebrate to birth of the little eight-pound baby jesus, especially when it will be accompanied by a breakfast casserole made with challah.

also, tomorrow, santa is coming at 11 am, i’m going for a run around a lake, and we are going to be one of those people who goes to the movies on christmas day.

if i sound unappreciative or ill at ease with the state of my family’s notion of a good time on a day off, that is not the attitude i’m trying to exude. if anything, i love that my family is so comfortable, so easy, so lazy, and so real that we don’t have to go through any motions of fitting someone else’s notion of a holiday.

we make our own good time, regardless of whether we are fighting through a game of rummy tile or sticking it out through a questionable movie.

everybody and their mom knows a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright, but not everyone knows that a potato pancake and some champagne can make your eyes all aglow.

one of the videos she got was a documentary from 1998 following hanson on their “road to albertane” tour. instead of watching rocky or the guardian or murderball, some how, last night i convinced my roommates to watch the hanson brothers on tour.

it was pretty awkward all around, not just because i knew all the words to all the songs, but because, BOY, those hansons were something more awkward than even i had remembered.

as we were watching this spectacle, jamie kept wanting to know what the brothers look like circa now. so, we went to their website, and low and behold, not only do we find out that they have aged pretty well, but that they have a new album coming out in may, a movie that was featured at the Hollywood Film festival, and have released a single aimed at aids education/awareness.

i’d be lying if i told you i didn’t go straight to itunes and buy said single or think about how i am SO buying the CD when it come out on may 22nd. i’ll stop here, because you probably don’t want to know how i am also going to load the middle of nowhere CD onto my shuffle and rock out to a little late-nineties pop to motivate my post-work run.

this weekend was pretty epic, in terms of sports and the celebrations. the sports part i am still excited about. the celebration part, i hope no one remembers.

basically, i was pretty egregious in the application of some (of all) of my game, some of which was delivered IN FRONT of my boss. i asked him yesterday why he didn’t stop me. he response was stop you? are you kidding, once you get started, it’s impossible to stop you. and then he laughed and laughed and laughed.

i’ve always said, here i am, rock me like a hurricane, but now i’m rethinking that. i don’t really want to be a natural disaster. i want to be a natural wonder or a treasure. i want to avoid telling strangers secrets, co-workers lines and friends that i would make out with them.

it’s a mission impossible, though, because so much of that in your face/love it or leave it, defines me and i own that 97% of the time. if you take the gauche out of austin, i’m not sure what you are left with. and i’m not sure i’m ready to find out.

applicable quote of the day: “make the most of your regrets. . . to regret deeply is to live afresh.” -thoreau